I’ve been asking myself this question a lot of times and I’ve also had friends come to me, almost broken, with this same question. You meet a nice gentleman today who ticks all the box of the kind of guy you would love to be with. He asks you out and because you are madly in love with him, you say yes. You have your standard and would like the relationship to grind slowly but somehow you lose your head and let yourself go. You have sex with this gentleman and the next day, his attitude towards the relationship takes a nose dive.
He doesn’t call like he used to. He hardly texts you and takes a lot of persuasions before he comes around to see you. The signs become very clear that this guy is no more interested in the relationship but why should that happen just after the sex? Soon, he leaves you without any reason and I’m not the only one experiencing this. So why do guys change and eventually leave after sex?
I needed answers so I went about looking for it. I spoke with a lot of men about it and they all have their reasons. As stupid as some of the reasons might sound, to them, they feel its reason enough to walk away.
I found a girl I thought was perfect for me. She had everything I needed in a woman; gorgeous, educated, has this grace in the way she carried herself about and cooks very good food. We were together for about two months. At first, she didn’t want to have sex until I showed enough commitment. I was cool with that because I was in to stay. One night, after she’d called me to see her at her place, we had sex. The sex was good and all. It wasn’t less than anything I expected. We had a very good night together and I could see she was a happy girl that night.
The days after the sex became very unbearable. She wanted everything provided for her with my money. She kept asking for money at the least chance she had. That was when I decided to avoid her. I’m a boy in love and not a bank to make withdrawals. I didn’t want to leave after sex but she changed. She kept asking and asking for more money so I left. She accused me on countless occasions that I left because I’ve had what I wanted, but in actual sense, it wasn’t sex. It was her appetite for my money that drove me away and it just happened that I went away after sex.
The truth is, a guy would always give you more attention at the initial stages of the relationship. We would like to create impressions because ladies loved to be impressed. So I got this girl I was hanging around with for some time. I didn’t have goals for the relationship but I also didn’t plan to leave if everything worked like how I wanted it to go. After sex, I expected her to lower her expectations of how often I could be around her.
She needed attention and a lot of it. Actually, she wanted everything to be just as it was from the beginning when we hadn’t had sex, but I couldn’t go on impressing her when there was no reason to. After sex, we lose steam, especially when you’ve had a lot of sex and know everything about her. She kept nagging me about not caring and not giving her enough attention like I used to and all that. I got fed up. I blocked her on Whatsapp and stopped picking her calls. I knew it was finally over when I realized she’d blocked me on Facebook. What a relief that was.
I would be very frank with you, usually, I see a girl and I begin to think she has something no other girl has ever had. I can imagine how sex with her would feel like and sometimes even imagine things that could only happen in porn movies. The way some ladies carry themselves about and talk about themselves, they give the impression that they could give you something you wouldn’t have from any other woman but you get to bed with her and all she gives you is the ordinary things you’ve been having all your life. That kills the spark immediately. Life is too short to endure bad sex from whomever. When the sex is bad, I move on.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to assume all I want in a woman is sex. Sex is one of those things but it should be better than average to get me to go to the next step with you.
I didn’t want to marry, at least not for now but she wanted marriage so bad and even wanted marriage to happen in the next year. We only met just about three months ago and this girl was already planning the guest for our wedding. I always found a nice way to tell her to slow down because marriage takes time. She wouldn’t listen. She didn’t want to talk about anything that doesn’t lead to marriage discussions. It got very boring because we couldn’t talk about anything else. I got scared and left her. It had been three months already and didn’t want to waste more of her time. It’s fair, right?
I had someone I have committed to already; a lady I loved so much and wanted to spend my life with. Somehow, this new lady came along. She was fine and game and gave the impression that she liked me so I decided to try my luck. Actually, Sex was the aim from the start. I had no other desires but to try and get her to bed. It took me about four months to be able to get her to sleep with me. She was very careful and I respected that. I gave her the space to decide on whatever she wanted from us and she used that space very well. Eventually, she allowed sex.
It was awesome, trust me. The best sex I’ve ever had in a long time. I’d wanted her for a long time. I mean she was beautiful and all. She knows how to satisfy a man and knows how to go deeper on a man. But she wanted something I couldn’t give. She wanted commitment. I was already committed. I had to learn to let her go. I pulled away after having sex thrice or so times. It killed her but I couldn’t do much about it.
She was beautiful in a dress until she went naked. I saw things I didn’t like about her body but these things were packaged in beautiful dresses until I saw them during sex. What can a guy do in this situation? I left and never called her again. I believe I did nothing wrong and I’m not guilty because trust me, if she found out during sex that I was under-endowed, she could have left me too. I tried not to waste her time and I did the right thing for her and myself by leaving.
Girls leave me wondering, especially the beautiful ones. You get a girl today and tomorrow another appears with intriguing features. I’m always thinking; “how would it feel like to be with such a girl? See, she has big boobs than who I’m with. How does it feel like to fondle big boobs?” Thoughts like these drive me on and after having the feel of big boobs; I tell myself “so that’s all? Is that all there is to big boobs?” Then I move on. Mine has to do with satisfying curiosity.
So you see, ladies, it’s not our fault that they go away. Mostly it’s more about them than it is about us. Stop blaming yourself and questioning your worth just because of a guy who went away. They didn’t leave just because you did them any wrong; they left because they made the choice to. They had come into your life with a desire and mostly leave when it’s fulfilled. Why don’t they try, at least a little bit harder to help find solutions to what is it that they thought was wrong?
Whoever leaves your life didn’t deserve to be there in the first place. You trusted them and realized that they are not worth your trust, isn’t that enough reason to be happy about their leaving? Stop crying and be the girl who knows her worth and knows what she’s looking for in life.